Reconnecting to early memories of embodiment
Connecting to past experiences from when you were a kid and without worries, can help you, and the body, remember how it felt to be free.
When we are born we are having experiences, without being conscious of ourselves or being consciously aware of what is happening. We are living through the expressions of the different parts of us as one whole being. We have thoughts, emotions, physical and energetic sensations. We are experiencing them, and expressing them freely, before we move on to the next one. We are free without knowing it, unconsciously embodied.
Now, you can revisit the memory of embodiment with awareness and experience how it was to live without the worries, anxiety, limiting beliefs and layers that were put on top of you. This will help your body and you to remember how an embodied life felt. You can explore this in different ways. Through meditation, journaling about a memory, or awakening the sensation through an embodied recapitulation. Bring it back to life by connecting to how it felt in your body, what emotions you had and how you expressed yourself in that situation.
Here´s a beautiful example from one of my clients of how a conscious, embodied recapitulation can bring you back to aliveness and heal past traumas.
Client story
Recapitulating a Traumatic Childhood Experience… Being with It & Having Fun
Recently the masculine and the feminine got together again for a playdate with the paper on the wall. (This was a recapitulation of an experience around age 5 when she was severely punished for – instead of taking a nap as parents ordered — going to her bedroom and playing with the crayons she was so excited about…. She immersed herself freely drawing on her bedroom’s wallpaper to her heart’s delight, then feigned waking from sleep, yawning as she came out of her room. She was shocked and devastated when parents – instead of sharing her love for her crayon creation — became very angry when they saw it, and the spanking hurt too.)
The recent playdate was the second of two recapitulation sessions growing out of coaching with Cecilia. The intention was to relive the fun bits of that childhood experience and build trust between the masculine and feminine. For the first session, the masculine found a wall in the house – the only wall that really would work — and a gigantic roll of paper to tape up on the wall for the feminine to express herself drawing on it. Crayons were not available so the feminine settled for watercolor markers. But she was not entirely happy with the way they felt or with only being able to make narrow lines of color. Regular crayons, though, have a scent that is disagreeable to her. So the masculine found honey-based crayons for her this time… he was surprised that they had no scent; she was a little disappointed about that, but no scent was much better than a disagreeable scent, so she didn’t complain.
The feminine wanted a sunny day for the playdate, but the weather simply did not cooperate for the first session. The masculine was wondering why a sunny day; he didn’t baulk at it, though, and was on the alert to provide one… and for this second recapitulation session he did! When a nice sunny afternoon came along, it was time! So even though there were other things calling to be done, the playdate was on.
Well, there was an interesting surprise from providing a sunny day….
The wall the paper was taped on is in the dining room, which has several windows, including a set of small windows up high that have a number of glass objects of various sizes and shapes and colors sitting on the window ledge.
The afternoon sun was pouring through those widows. And the surprise from this sunshine was that rainbows were dancing across the paper taped on the wall. I had noticed rainbows a lot in the past in that room but had never noticed them dancing across that wall. But the feminine must have…. So she colored the rainbows as they danced across the paper! It was very fun! And the masculine was very happy to see why it had to be a sunny day!
That was great! And I just left the piece of paper taped there and enjoyed seeing the crayon creation as I went about doing other things… but after a few hours the tape started giving way… and the paper started taking itself off the wall. I took that as a sign that it was time to take the paper down. But… ooooo… some of the tape would not let go of the wall. The Tape Pulled Paint Off the Wall!
At first there was the reaction: Oh no! Not this! … And I tried to take the tape off as carefully as possible to keep damage to a minimum. But in two spots the tape simply took the paint off the wall. So I put away the paper… and started being with the situation.
As I was washing the dishes, thoughts were running in my head focusing on ways to repair those spots, ways to fix it. But also there were a lot of reassurances – It’s ok, it isn’t really that important, we can fix this… Then… Just relax, it was fun, it was so nice to see the rainbows!… a lot of reassurance that it was definitely worth it to play with the rainbows.
The next morning, I realized the wall with spots of missing paint really doesn’t show terribly. The paint that is underneath is white and the paint that tore away is light, pale yellow… the missing paint doesn’t jump out at you… but it is missing. As I walked past the wall with the spots of missing paint new questions came to mind: Oh, do we really need to fix this? Why don’t we just leave it this way?
…and, actually, I’m not sure I am going to fix it. It’s like you get a scar, and there’s a story that goes with that scar. And you’re actually pretty happy with the scar because you have a great story that goes with it.’
Exploration
Revisit an early memory where you felt carefree and were expressing yourself freely. Experience it as vividly as you can. Use all your senses and feel the emotions. Maybe you have a certain song or smell that connects you to this memory that you can bring into the practise.
Either you can reconnect with your memory like my client so beautifully described in her story up here, setting up the environment and relive the parts where you felt free and embodied. Or you can connect to this memory through journaling or simply close your eyes and use your remarkable mind to project a memory from this time.
Questions to use in your exploration;
How did it feel to be you? (Feel it)
What emotions were running trough your body? (Feel them)
What was going on in your mind? (Think it)
What did you smell/hear/taste/see? Imagine how that was.
How did you interact with your body? (Feel it)
How did you interact with your surroundings? People, nature?
Feel it, embodying it.
If you can´t find a memory, don´t worry. You most certainly have felt this at some point in your life even if you might have been very young, but sometimes that memory can´t be accessible for different reasons. In that case, observe the children around you and how they embody life.
Journal or share your discoveries in the comments.
Do you want to start to explore and reconnect to early memories in a safe container guided by a coach?
Book a free intro call and bring your questions >>